It’s good to be treated to an insight on online dating from the male perspective, and these two men couldn’t be more different to one another. One is a man we’d all hope to meet, honest, attractive, intelligent, warm, well presented and yes tall. The other is straight out of a nightmare, brash, hyperactive, shallow and only after one thing.

Actually that’s possibly a little unfair on Alex, probably the thing that offends me most about him is the way he objectionalises women, they are all fair game and if they’re not going to put out he’ll not put in any effort. Perhaps there is a time and place for men like him, but I can’t help thinking there should be a name for people that search through sites only looking for sex, trawlers? In his own words online dating makes ‘getting laid easier’.

Obviously this is the extreme side of online dating…

I won’t tarnish all men using online dating sites as being this lusty, although if both sides know that’s what the plan is, happy days!

Online Dating Rituals Of The American Male, Marcus

Marcus: honest, attractive, intelligent, warm, well presented & tall

Marcus shows us the softer side of the online dating community. He does think that ‘you can find true love’ online, a real knight in shining armour. Maybe his optimism is accountable to the fact that he is still new to the dating scene, after having only ten dates in comparison to Alex’s hundred, all as a result of online dating.

What these two men look for in a profile reflect their differences in dating desires too. While one prefers to see minimal makeup and natural pictures with no provocative clothing, the other wants to see drinking and sexy poses. Can you guess which is which? One thing they do both agree on is the presence of a good butt, so girls be proud of that booty!

Another thing they had in common was the speed in which they seemed to connect with the potential dates. Find profile, like profile, contact the person and seize the date. This is refreshing after hearing a lot of stories from women who can’t get the man to commit to an actual meeting. Real men with real intentions.

Online Dating Rituals Of The American Male, Alex

Alex: brash, hyperactive, shallow & only after one thing

What was also apparent was the need for a strong online dating profile (Example of an interesting online dating profile). Ladies you have one chance to catch his eye as he’s looking through the list of hopefuls. Make sure you do yourself justice, good honest pictures in natural situations with a truthful write up. There’s only one chance to make a good first impression. If you don’t catch his attention don’t be hard on yourself, these men know what they like and what they don’t, they know what they’re looking for and will be ruthless in their selection.

That said I was pleasantly surprised and impressed with Marcus’s decision to ignore the online dating compatibility scale. After answering a collection of seemingly mad questions a computer will calculate how compatible a match you are. When he saw a profile that ticked all of his boxes but was only a 10% match he was determined to give her a go. Marcus said ‘if you want to find love again you’ve got to be vulnerable ‘, my favourite quote from the whole program.

Alex had no intention of making himself vulnerable, and was a self-confessed addict, spending all hours of the day, even when at work looking for his next date. Holding on to a belief that there’s no embarrassment in being turned down online as no one knows, he was happy to trawl (trawl being the predatory sex seeker) through the profiles. The ability to send messages so easily and to a lot of women was a positive in his eyes, ‘the more strings to your bat the more chance you’ve got of scoring’. That philosophy was followed through with his dating strategy by arranging more than one date each day. That way there was more chance of getting lucky, and if he did get lucky he could just blow off the others. He certainly didn’t seem too happy to be stood up, although his very colourful character still led him to have a good time. I’m not convinced gyrating over a drum in the middle of a park whilst being watched by children is an attractive feature however.

So after finding his perfect date our hero did give us cause to frown. Marcus carried on online dating just to make sure he wasn’t missing anything else on the market. Admittedly he was officially still free and single, but it still felt wrong somehow. Thankfully his date was disastrous which resulted in him reaching out to his fab date and confessing all, I have high hopes for their future. One other thing I felt was a bit naughty, on a previous date he let her think he would be seeing her again to save himself from the uncomfortable moment of telling her the truth. Honesty, surely, has to be the best policy.

Alex was also shy in being honest, which was unexpected after being so open with the viewers with his view of hairy feet, ‘when you’re doing it doggy style you won’t be looking at her feet’. He too would rather have them believe there will be another date than face the awkwardness of reality. Perhaps that’s kinder, no one wants to be humiliated, but remember ladies, this is not rejection, especially when we wouldn’t want them as a partner anyway.

So what can we learn from the Online Dating Rituals Of The American Male? Be honest, in your profiles at the least. If when you meet you’re not what they were expecting it will be their problem not yours. Be cautious, the trawlers of this world really are only after one thing. Be adventurous, the vulnerable out there are looking for something special. Most of all, be you.

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