I came across this hangout called “Perfect First Date” by TrippAdvice.com. It is quite interesting to hear things about dating from a man’s prospective but a few things made me cringe. So I thought I’d share my point of view based on some of my dating experiences.
Do not call a woman cute, cutie or sweetie. Reserve them for your pets or children. Personally, if I get messages from guys who actually used those in an email/text message, I don’t rush to meet them on a first date. I’d rather receive no compliments than being called cute. Usually guys compliment more in writing than to your face and that is perfectly fine. I really do not expect a guy to meet me for the first time and say: “Wow, you are beautiful”. I mean it is nice but not necessary.
The perfect first date should happen at night?
I was surprised to hear Tripp say it has to happen at night to “make it feel like a first date”. The first date is important because it might lead to a second date or… not. I disagree with making it a night time thing. The time of the day should no matter because it is all about you and your date and making that first connection. I don’t think I will see you in a better light just because I am meeting you at night.
I don’t get why there is a need to “feel” like a date. Where is that feeling coming from? A date is date, no matter what time of the day.
What is the perfect first date location?
Definitely not the movies or any places that have loud music. Watching a movie will not tell me anything about you and so is watching a band or having to talk loud to be able to hear each other.
I don’t mind going out for dinner. I have gone on a walk, meet up for a coffee or a drink and that is perfectly fine for a first date. Late afternoon might be a good time because if it turns out good, you could push it for a dinner and therefore spend a bit more time to learn about each other.
The dreaded friend zone.
I think on a first date, it is a friend zone anyway, and this is why the first date is happening: to see if there is a possibility of getting out of the friend zone.
Kissing on a first date.
Yep, it does happen and nothing wrong with it.
I recently when on a date with a guy who obviously liked me but I could not see him out of the friend zone. He was a “nice” guy, I just did not click with him. I knew he was heading for a kiss when we said goodbye but somehow I managed to avoid it. It was subtle, nothing rude or pushy so I agreed to go on a second date. The same thing happened when we said goodbye but this time I knew for sure he was not the one. You really have to use your instinct on this one.
“Touching” on first date….
That is a funny one. I don’t touch anyone on a first date. I can’t even figure out how this would happen, unless it is by accident while walking maybe? I do remember though on one date, a walk by the beach, stopped for ice-cream then we sat down and he wanted to hold me. I pushed back. He asked: “Are you not an affectionate person?” “I am,” I responded, “but not with a guy I just met”. I put him in a friend zone and I did not click with him at all. Any physical with him at this point was out of the question. There was no second date.
On the other hand, I immediately clicked with a guy when we talked on the phone. I felt very at ease when we met for a coffee that lasted 5 hours… When we walked back to his car – I had agreed for him to drive me home – our hands touched, we held hands and when we arrived at his car we kissed.
On a different date, he worked away so he took a while before we met, but when we met, there was no talking: it went straight to the kissing part…
There are probably a lot of other things to take into account when on a first date. But mostly it is all based on your instinct. And if you are not sure, instead of wondering and assuming, your best bet is to ask. If you can’t do it face to face, because I know, rejection can be hard to handle, ask in a text message.
But all in all, there is no perfect first date. Be yourself, make the balance between talking about yourself and finding out about your date. Don’t plan it too much because then you become nervous and you just never know what is going to happen on a first date. Remember: we are all different and react differently to things. Go with the flow.
If you have any questions, please ask in the comments below. Thanks. Have an awesome first date!